Flash forward to the summer I was 24 (which is to say, today). It was my third summer back in California after going to college in Massachusetts. And, just like every summer since the one when I was 17, the history was gone again. I tried and failed to rent 1776, so instead I stood out barbecuing tofu kebabs in the Mission and listening to hipsters accuse each other of being anti-American(1). And then I watched Zoolander.

In short, I had a day off of work, and a really fun night with my friend Jen. But it was a great day celebrating the Grill Things In the Summer While Fireworks Boom holiday, and not the Hey Remember When Jefferson Was Self-Aggrandizing in the 1890s and Convinced Everyone To Celebrate His Achievement On the Fourth of July and Not Any Of the Other Big Dates In the War holiday, which is kind of sad (2).

But something kind of hilarious did happen when I was leaving Jen’s:
Bizarre European: Is it okay if I urinate on somebody’s home?
Me: Whatever, dude. ::walks bike to corner::
European: ::follows:: No, really, I’m not going to get arrested or anything?
Me: ::Looks at him blankly::
European: You aren’t an undercover cop, are you? You aren’t blending in like a local with your bicycle and the thing in your hand [a bike helmet] waiting for me to pee, and then you’ll arrest me?
Me: You’ve caught me. I’m an undercover cop.
European: ::starts explaining why he wasn’t able to pee in a bar::
Traffic light: ::turns green::
Me: ::bikes away, relieved::

(1) Note to self: When you see a t-shirt with the text “Die hipster scum” for sale, and you think to yourself, “I should get that. It would be ironic and hilarious” then you have already lost.
(2) I kind of broke up with Jefferson in college. I sort of refer to him in the style of a bitter ex these days.

Dentist: Molly, do you know what a dental dam is?
Molly: Yes.
Dentist: Have you ever used one?
Molly: Er, yes?
Dentist: Well, we’re going to be using something slightly different. It’s a lot better because it provides more suction, and it’s got this area where you can rest your jaw.

The other device was indeed much nicer to have stuffed in my mouth for two hours than a dental dam would have been.

Today at lunch…
Erica: Molly, we probably shouldn’t tell too many people that we’re going to be roommates, because that might mean it will all go wrong!
Me: I think it might be too late for that…

Soon we will return to your regularly scheduled long, interesting entries. In the meantime, please allow me to cross-sell my new photoblog, coming to you as soon as the DNS propogates: http://photos.meaplet.com