But the more I think about it (you know, over the last 20 minutes or so, so you know I’ve really had time to mull this over) the more I think that Pliny the Younger was totally the first blogger. At least, the Epistulae reads like a blog. Think about it…

::insert Wayne’s World hand waving and flashback noise here::

So, Mount Vesuvius across the way seems to be exploding, and my uncle is really obsessed. He’s going over there to investigate it scientifically. He got a boat and is sailing over there in the opposite direction from the sane people who are fleeing.

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My uncle had a heart attack breathing all the ash spewing from Mount Vesuvius. Now I’m bummed, but on the bright side he was a cool old guy, if a bit crazy. What with the sailing over to Mount Vesuvius and all. [insert that line about it being so Vulcanic that it was like, a Vulcan-o from last week's episode of Doctor Who, which would have been better if there were wacky Pliny the Elder hijinks in it]

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So, there are like, these guys who are really into Jesus? They’re calling themselves Christians? And, like, I was just watching some people feed them to lions? And I think that’s, like, totally uncool?

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OMG dolphins!

See what I mean?

(Tonight, when I actually have my copy of the Epistulae on hand, I will add the Latin counterparts of my brazen but more accurate than you might think translations)